How Travelling Makes You a Better Parent
The saying goes, a family that travels together, stays together.
I joined Stacey Yates Sellar’s conscious parenting workshop in Sintra to discover the insights of travelling with kids, and through doing so, I must first and foremost give a round of applause to all of the parents who have shared dreadful jet lags with their toddlers and have bravely started the journey of living the digital nomad family lifestyle through Boundless Life - because that is no small feat!
I was invited into a cozy living room in the heart of picturesque Sintra with ten parents who shared the same joys and challenges of parenthood. Everyone who attended lived on Boundless Residences and referred to their small intimate group as “the BEST co-parenting cohort”. Now let’s give you a little background on our admirable coach, Stacey.
Before becoming a conscious parenting coach in 2020, Stacey devoted 17 years of her life to the corporate world of Silicone Valley. This meant high expectations, loads of pressure, and a strong sense of longing for being with her kids. Stacey explained that she had always loved the idea of travelling with her children, and luckily, she was able to meet like-minded families that were “world schooling” when it wasn’t even a thing!
“Society calls motherhood a hard job. I call it a journey - an adventure where you learn and grow along with your kid.” - Stacey Sellar.
Throughout the workshop, Stacey emphasized on the harsh consequences of putting labels and expectations on ourselves and our children. She explained how saying one is a “good” parent often means that we are conscious, compassionate, spiritual leaders, that also act as friends to our kids. Hierarchical society teaches us to diversify the good and bad as well as right and wrong, or as Stacey puts it “you are good when your kid is good”. But instead of focusing on perfection, why not focus on the following things that will make you a better parent through travelling with your children.
Become a Better Team Player
Travelling with kids is all about teamwork. As opposed to a constantly shifting playground where there is no familiar schedule, when living abroad, individuals live in an entirely different rhythm with their own habits and languages. Now, instead of always being the fixer/problem-solver for your children when a language barrier or cultural difference arise, give them the freedom to participate and learn by doing!
“I am getting better at giving to my son the tools for what it takes”, says Stacey. Her authority-off attitude shows her kids that they can be great problem-solvers and negotiators. Stacey recalls a recent situation in a taxi where her family was given two seats, and yet her four kids wanted to sit together. The mission to make everyone satisfied was about to fail until she delegated the challenge to her son. A few minutes later the group was ready for the ride.
Spend Quality Time Together
Travelling with kids makes us tune into a slow tempo. “Forget endless zooms calls and snacks on the go - if you are going against your kid’s clock it’s going to be a disaster,” says Michelle, an attendee of the conscious parenting workshop. Like many other travelling families, Michelle and her husband dreaded reviewing their dense itinerary, but as a reward, they treasured watching their children discover the world, each at their own pace. “And they have their idea of what is cool - sometimes a spider in the sink is just as exciting as an excursion at the temple!”
“Travelling heightens and enhances your chance of balance with your children. So much of the travel, we know we are doing for them, and for ourselves too.” - Stacey Sellar.
Through family activities, kids master compassion and flexibility, and parents learn about the influence of ice cream stops among many other secrets of stress-free and family-friendly tours. As adults who are regularly confined to a mostly serious and sometimes scary world - we often forget about making time for FUN. With children, fun is an important part of a daily routine and also serves as a reminder for us as parents to be present and just enjoy.
Discover the World Together
Not all classrooms have 4 walls. Travelling forces one to attain a different perspective, and the same goes for your child. If you live in one place, there is a set of cultural norms, expectations, and laws that surround that particular place, and it’s easy for a child to conclude that the whole world functions like this. It’s hard to explain that something they grew up seeing isn’t necessarily true for the rest of the world. That being said, as soon as you open up your child’s horizons and explore the world, especially to places where these norms do not exist, it’s a whole new ball game.
Appreciate Experiences More Than Things
As travelling limits the amount of “things” you bring with you AKA all of the toys and bicycles that you have in your 4-bedroom house, your children begin to learn what is really important.
Seth, another participant in Stacey’s workshop, enlightened us with his own experience travelling with his daughter Immy. It enabled him to show her that life is not all about material goods. Attachment to stuffed animals, however, is undeniable - this is something that everyone at the workshop agreed with. Julie, another Boundless Life mother, shared that her 5-year-old Lea, would take her stuffed animal friends everywhere they went, but they as parents made it her responsibility to carry the toys. Travelling is the ideal opportunity to give our kids more autonomy.
Things to Consider When Travelling with your Family
Find a community that shares the same values. Although it is inevitable that you cannot preview everything that you will face in travel, you can find like-minded families that will be of great help.
Michelle explained that at some point, she and her husband started hanging out mostly with couples that had kids. “They understand the parenting challenges and we are able to empathise with one another. There is no judgment when your kid gets stubborn or tired.” To this statement, everyone at the workshop agreed and “understood the hustle”.
As there are often times when parents need a break, by sharing this with your community, the opportunity arises for other parents to look after your kids from time to time and will ensure that they will be well taken care of.
With Boundless, community is one of our most important offers. Our whole concept of living abroad with your family is built around community. Through our close accommodations, co-working hub, various planned events and excursions and more, we ensure that you are surrounded by like-minded individuals, and that babysitting coverage is literally just around the corner!
Schooling options for children will probably be extremely high up on your family travel checklist. Recently, more parents are considering world-schooling as a better alternative to traditional education. It adds more flexibility to a traveling schedule, and a multicultural environment gives a broader perspective of what life could be.
This is where Boundless Education comes into play. Our students learn to be agile and think outside the box, and our education system combines the best learning practices with the world-renowned Finnish curriculum.
“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.”
When we travel, we come back to our homes changed, evolved, and richer with new experiences. Throughout this workshop, I learned that attaining the Boundless experience (along with Portuguese souvenirs and sweets) is guaranteed bring some Sintra-zen back into the homes of these individuals in New York, California, and various other cities.
We are grateful to Stacey and Boundless families for this open-hearted conversation.
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